Today Rishi said, “So how come all the other new hires got new hire posts? Where's my new hire post?”

To which Dave Franzese replied, “Son, when we started here we didn't get no new hire posts! I had to write my new hire post on the internet with a ballpoint pen uphill both ways in the snow.”

But we like Rishi, and he only had to ask, so, here goes:

When Rishi started at thehappycorp a couple weeks ago he had a broken face, just like the song. He still has a broken face, but it's less puffy now: he made us feel the fracture under his right eye, a little boney gap.

“My last night in Lima I stayed up all night drinking and decided to go out for the good waves when the sun came up,” said Rishi. It was bad. My board came up underneath me into my cheek. I was in bed two weeks after that, my whole face in a cast”

We imagine the immobility was the worst part for Rishi. He's been to South America four times and almost all the corners of the world, including Antarctica.

He's the founder and director of the Sustainable Design Review, an internationally recognized sustainability competition for Parsons students, where Rishi is a Design & Management degree candidate at the School of Design.

Rishi has more ideas for LVHRD than he can hold in his hands. He's constantly spreading out reams of paper in front of us, pointing at keynotes, sticking graphs on the bulletin board, reading at least two newspapers at once. Guy means business.

Today he came in with a streamlined haircut because, oh–wait for it–he's training for a triathlon. That's right. Go see Transformers, take a nap, and when you wake up Rishi will have spun the time you spent doing those things into golden straw with which he will buy your life purpose.